Long distance relationship problems.

Everyone that is in any type of relationship has problems.  If you live across the street, if you live in the same bedroom, or if you live across the world you are bound to experience long distance relationship problems.

The people that say they do not have problems and relationships are probably in a bad relationship.

How do you survive a long distance relationship?

If you ask my grandma and grandpa how they survived a 55 year relationship they would answer with love and care.  It is a little bit harder than just the two simple words of love and care. It takes tenacity, it takes grit, it takes faith, and it takes a willingness to keep their relationship in a positive direction.

In short, if you have the right attitude about keeping your Long distance relationship problems in check and you are working hard in the good times than in bad times, you will not have a Long distance relationship problem.

Loneliness:

No little loneliness in any relationship causes a struggle and cause long distance relationship problems. 

You might be living halfway around the world in a long-distance relationship and you might even feel more lonely or less lonely than your friends who are dating people in the same town as you.  Loneliness is a state of mind.

If you feel lonely day to find everything in your life that causes loneliness. It is often true that if you look for something hard enough you will find it. Loneliness is easy to find if you are looking for it. 

Avoid long distance loneliness.

For example, loneliness comes when you do not feel love, you do not feel cared for, and you feel like you are all by yourself.  This might be seen when you make phone calls and leave messages and your messages are returned. 

This might also be seen when you feel that your partner is mad and ignoring her calls. Loneliness causes all kinds of problems which can spin off into other areas such as jealousy and anger.

Keeping your long distance relationship moving forward.

In order to avoid loneliness you have to keep in contact.  Keeping contact in a long-distance relationship is one of the major keys and how to keep track of your relationship and keep it moving forward. 

Everyone wants a positive relationship and you need to maintain this communication. For example, send text messages as often as possible.  Take pictures and send them to your partner throughout the day. Sometimes sending a private picture as well.

Loneliness again is how you feel in your head.  If they send you a text title reply back as fast as you can.  If they send you a picture or leave you a message try to do the same thing as fast as you can.

The Long distance time difference. 

Long-distance relationship problems such as loneliness and the feeling of desertion can easily be affected by the time difference in your relationship and your location. 

For example, if you live somewhere where there is a five hour time difference is can be very difficult to get them good night and early morning wake-up calls. 

You have to wait for them to get up, when you get up they are at work, and when you get home they are still not there, it can make it very difficult to communicate. 

However, you can leave messages on her voicemail and you can send text messages every day to keep in contact.  This will help avoid problems in a long-distance relationship.

Keep in touch by texting or sending pictures.

You need to keep in touch by texting or sending pictures, or just talking on the phone when you can.  Keep in touch and communicating what happened during your day is the best fastest and easiest way to let somebody know that you are thinking about them and that you love them.

Losing track of time in our long distance relationships.

Some people find it difficult when they are in a long-distance relationship and they feel that they need to drop everything that they are doing to communicate text, video, and talk on the phone with their partner.

We all live our own separate lives.  In a long-distance relationship we need to maintain our own work habits, daily habits, and communication habits. 

One way to help having our own separate lives is to bring our lives together with our partners with things like dates. 

Use virtual dates to keep you close. 

Online dates are pretty simple to form.  For example, you might have an online game having dinner with a candle. 

Yes both sides of the relationship needs to have a lit candle that they can see with each other in the Skype being video.  Both people communicate is a litigator at a restaurant and a candlelight dinner. 

Got the camera showing the background the candlelit dinner, your dinner and you communicate the same way as you would if your face-to-face.  Believe me, I have done this before and it actually does ease the tensions of the long-distance relationships. 

It might sound kind of funny but once you get into it and you are spending time with your partner once a week, you are going to reap the benefits.  

Virtual dating:

So if you feel like your lives is drifting apart go-ahead and have a virtual date.

So you continue to share each other’s lives give each other’s time to discuss in detail what they did today.  Use this as the catalyst of your conversations on the phone or when you Skype or video chat.

Jealousy:

Jealousy is a very harsh emotion. 

I have seen lots of people real and good relationships by being jealous and allowing this jealousy to overtake the relationship.

Jealousy again is a feeling and you can control your feelings.  For example, how do you control your feelings you think of something else.  You change the subject drift your mind onto something else. Allow yourself to calm down in any situation. 

Be slow to speak, quick to listen, and quick to forgive.

Jealousy is a long distance relationship POISON.

Jealousy and just the thought of almost anything can poison a relationship very quickly. 

Try to avoid feeling jealousy by asking questions before your feelings get all worked up. It is easy, especially when in a long-distance relationship, to feel that your partner might be developing a relationship with someone else. 

This is a very hard feeling to overcome.  But my advice is to use faith, that is faith in God and his past in this life for you as the fuel to keep you calm and under control. 

This faith has a basic idea if it’s not meant to be it won’t be.  Or the opposite if it is meant to be it will be. If you live with the idea that everything in life is good and that things such as trials that you face in life are ways that you can build a stronger relationship, and build a stronger life when you are living life with the right attitude.  As the Bible says James 1:2 find joy in the various trials we find in our life.

Keeping secrets causes suspicion, in a long distance relationship. 

Secrets and pretending to have secrets can also fuel evilness of jealousy.  Both parties should try not to have secrets from one another. If you are in a true romantic relationship with each other then you need to have trust and secrets are not a way of

building trust. If you pretend that you have a secret and no secret is there then you are playing games with the other person in the relationship.  I see that this secrets and the perceived idea secrets is another way people can become jealous and cause arguments within a relationship.

Setting some long distance relationship rules.

The jealousy continues to haunt the relationship then it is possibly time to set down some ground rules. 

Rules and relationships are not so uncommon for people living together and living apart. For example, you might have a rule, any time a man talks to a woman in a job setting,  he must tell his wife or partner about the situation. Then there are no secrets.

This rule would not be acceptable if the man works with alot of women and his job requires it.  Then maybe we could tighten this up or modify this rule to make it if the man has lunch with a woman from work he needs to explain this and share it with his wife.  Now the same thing goes with the wife and where she works. 

If she works on the phone and she talks with a man on the phone on a more personal level then she should share this experience with her husband.  The rules are for both parties and both parties should have a say in how the rules are applied and determined. Also, do not forget that you need to have a consequence on discussion if somebody breaks the rule.

Consequences for breaking relationship rules. 

Although this could be an article by itself and it is not the scope of this article I do need to point out that some simple consequences need to be in effect. 

A consequence, such as if the man goes to lunch without telling his wife then he has to do the dishes for the night.  Now one thing about consequences if you are going to an implied consequence then you need to apply forgiveness as well.  So what does this whole situation look like. 

For example, a man talks to a woman at lunch he does not normally talk with and spends a little time together on a professional basis.  He forgets to tell his girlfriend and two or three days goes by. When the girlfriend calls and tells her she saw him at lunch with the different woman she is mad. 

The wife confronts her husband and says you had lunch with the different woman what is this all about.  He explains himself and says it was all professional and that he forgot to tell you about it. 

He will of course agree, it was a mistake and he will never do it again without telling you.  As a consequence he has to wash all the dinner dishes at nighttime.

He did his consequence he apologized and you need to accept his apology.  Now apologies and forgiveness can have a whole new meaning in the bedroom.  This might be a time when you can find some time to be alone and increase your relationship the next time you meet an intimate way.

Long-distance relationship problems with arguing.

Unfortunately the old adage is true it takes two people to argue.  Taking that another step further it takes two people to fight. I have to stress that if you are in a relationship and it is a long-distance relationship it is going to be easy for people to get their tempers twisted. 

But you need to keep yourself calm and not get upset when simple everyday things turn into arguments.  You need to control yourself as an adult and your partner needs to do the same. 

If you are in a relationship and yelling and screaming as part of your norm then I guess continued to yell and scream and forgive and makeup on your own.  But most people do not live this kind of hectic lifestyle.

Be close enough to share your feelings to each other. 

Being adult enough to share your feelings calmly and quietly even though you do not agree with but somebody else is saying it is part of maturity. 

As become more mature with ourselves we can become more mature and patient with others in our life.  This includes kids, parents, and our significant others.

Arguing is for immature people. 

There is no place to argue arguing is for immature people that do not know how to maintain a proper adult discussion. 

Knowing this you need to avoid screaming and yelling and fighting on the telephone as much as possible.  If you are on a phone call and an argument is going to stir up more, and then fuel other problems in the very near future. 

Arguing is not an option both of you need to learn how to control yourselves and learn how to talk like adults. Communicating in a long-distance relationship.

Use video chat in a long distance relationship. 

The best way to communicate with somebody is video chat.  Things like face-time and Skype are all great applications that allow you to video chat with your partner. 

 You can use video chat anywhere you want to, including the bedroom.  I would recommend that all the above to make sure that your relationship maintains a little spice.

Silent treatment the silent killer. 

If however you find out that people are not answering your calls or giving you the silent treatment this is another area where maturity in a relationship needs to prevail.  It is so easy to feel like you are left out and using the silent treatment and a long-distance relationship because of the time differences. 

Try not to use this as a weapon because it is one thing that you are trying to overcome in your long-distance relationship.  Somebody called you a date in the morning you should give them credit send them a text as soon as you normally would wake up or reply. 

In my relationship we had a 15 hour difference.  So she knew exactly what time I went to sleep and what time I woke up and replied her text messages accordingly.  Have that same respect for the other side as well where you know what time they wake up and you can send them texts and messages as well.  It is a nice feeling when you get a virtual good morning kiss as a messages you rolling out of bed.

Being flexible in a long-distance relationships.

Even though all relationships have problems we need to have guidelines for the rules and for the actions that we all take. 

So if you are going to make rules in the relationship make sure that their agreed-upon by both parties and that you have consequences and rewards system set up for when you need them.

In short, you are not going to make rules for something that you need rules for just to make rules.  You are going to find an issue causing a strain in the relationship and then you may attach a rule to it so both people understand how it affects both sides. 

Conclusion about long distance relationship problems.

This is a form of communication.  Now, back from the first sentence of this article it said “communication is the most important factor to solve long distance relationship problems.”  Communication is the most important factor in any relationship at home or overseas.

5 steps to help long distance relationship problems. 

1. We need to maintain and keep balance for everything that we do in a long-distance relationship. 
2. Do not let one area overwhelm us and to responding in a negative way to each other. 
3. Do not let jealousy over run your relationship because of your fear and lack of trust with each other. 
4. Trust and faith will help build your relationship so it can endure. The way you build trust is one step at a time. One event at a time. 
5. Build trust by being side-by-side hand-in-hand or video by video with each other. Building trust and maintaining trust is the second element of maintaining a strong online relationship.

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